At one time or another perhaps you have had the feeling that there was a lack of respect in the way in which others have treated you. If yes, then you are aware of the emotions that can result from this lack of respect. We feel “down”, agitated and powerless, but we may also experience anger and feel that we ought to be disrespectful in return. Would you agree?

I often hear my clients, especially those who have been laid off, complaining about a lack of respect towards them and today I feel the urge to write about it. As far as I am concerned “respect” is one of the most important social values, hence my reason for covering this topic.

This lack of respect seems to come from many directions e.g. a lack of respect from a former employer during the separation process, expressed in the way in which the termination process was initiated, the issuance of a reference letter and the way in which the employee was treated throughout the notice period up until their last working day. Some people are put on leave, meaning that they are not required to work during their notice period, and sometimes these people are made to feel like “criminals”. Often they are led out of the meeting room, where the notice of termination was handed over, straight to the exit of the building. They are quite literally forced out of the system, some having completed many years of service. Disrespect can come in many other forms, e.g. a line manager who avoids talking to a soon to be ex-employee, or who does not provide feedback, or treats the individual as a low priority.

If that wasn’t bad enough many people seem to encounter a lack of respect while applying for a new job. An applicant may frequently not hear anything from the relevant organisation for quite along period of time, sometimes they don’t hear from them at all! A lack of respect is also apparent with some recruiting agencies, if they do not see much hiring potential in the candidate in question, they often don’t provide any feedback or cease contact altogether.

The unemployment office can also seem to provide an environment lacking in respect, where people feel like they are forced into the general process with no consideration of their personal situation, their career aspirations, or experience etc. and the way in which individuals are treated, the co-operation they are offered and the entire communication process seem to be also somewhat lacking in respect. 

Sometimes one can experience a lack of respect from one’s own social environment. Colleagues and friends who neglect the friendship or connection, maybe because the “social image” of their job seeker friend or colleague is no longer in line with their social aspirations, or maybe because they are afraid of being asked for help and support which they cannot provide. Disrespect from a friend or colleague can be the most harmful of all.

As you can see there are a great many ways in which a lack of respect can be experienced. I can best summarise my personal opinion with the following quotation: “You cannot force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected."

In the new orientation process many job seekers usually view themselves as a victim of circumstance and frequently lack the courage to speak up, to ask for feedback and to demand a certain level of respect. Taking the courage to refuse to allow people to be disrespectful will strengthen self-confidence and will help in the process of moving forward. 

Take the courage to demand respect, but in a respectful way as you progress with your professional and private life. Respect will win through in the end.